Around January the baboons of the music press report on what they think the breakthrough acts of the year will be. I usually scan through the lists and give them all a fair listen and make note on ones that resonate. This year it seems, the journo primates have had palms greased by some record execs to dry hump the same empty, hollow corpse that is indie rock. (Hey! It sells) This corpse has been rotting away for some time now, the final straw for its poor existence was the pecking of crows, in the bland physical entity that is Mumford & Sons, Two door cinema club et al. The two bands that are on the top of everyone’s list, from the Guardian, BBC and NME are The Vaccines and Brother. I thought I’d check them out and post my initial impressions on this “future of music”.
The Vaccines are reminiscent of Glasvegas. Not because their songs are tales of self indulgent misery, but because they have seemingly shared the heavily thumbed and now dog eared “how to make songs ‘n play guitarz” almanac. Their first song, Wrecking Bar (ra ra ra) sounds as junior skool as you can imagine, like the Ramones covered by four down-syndrome 6 year olds. A cruel comparison perhaps, but seriously – listen to it.
That being said, it isn’t as bad as their newest single, Post break up sex, which is a different sound altogether. One could be mistaken that it is in fact an entirely different band. It sounds like the Drums mixed with Glasvegas’ fake attention seeking melancholy. Because of this mixture the band have absolutely no discernible personality or trait to call their own. The Vaccines are so undeniably bland they don’t register in my emotional response. I don’t hate them, I don’t like them. They have nothing I can remotely relate to. The shuffling of chords, bad lyrical rhyming and monotone melody just makes me…pity them. Because of this, they shouldn’t exist. But then, it has the word ‘sex’ in it, so teenagers will buy it anyway.
Brother, the first of these bands of 2011 are allegedly the rebirth of Britpop. Initially, I admired their arrogance. Having just signed a “massive” record deal with Geffen they stated; “We always expected a big reaction,” says singer Lee. “The most surprising thing to us is that all this hasn’t happened sooner.” Fair play you could argue, bands need bollocks, arrogance and self belief. Any act that can land a “massive” record deal in the age of digital piracy and economic climate, MUST be good. They then claim they will be headlining Glastonbury and that they are “the future of music”. I hoped that now Oasis are sadly long gone, these could be the band to fill that gap for the new generation. Before I heard anything I was excited. Unfortunately, on the third listen of their Stephen Street produced debut single “Darling buds of may” their clever interview patter and record deal felt unjustified, it’s the same bland four chord, forgettable yawnsome toss that has been plaguing our airwaves for far too long. It is hard to feel the same passion that Brother believes in. How they have landed a massive record deal on the basis of this song is frankly mindboggling, I have heard far better unsigned acts on myspace. You can’t help feeling they were signed just to have it all crumble down on them in a cruel but slightly amusing game created by record execs. If all it takes is some clever opinionated arrogance and four, very contrived chords to get a massive record deal I might have to dust that guitar off myself…
Conclusion / Rant:
Last year was awash with indie-lite. Bands that are so bland the litmus test would reject them. These are no exception. The same chords, melodies and lyrical content we have heard long before now. Stop ripping off your peers and create your own sound. What’s more, these bands are getting in massive amounts of debt signing to deals that will inevitably die. Neither of these two bands will be around in 3 years, let alone headlining Glastonbury. The dry, over fucked husk of indie is long gone. Until a proper band resurrect it, it shall remain so. Record labels, sort yourselves out. People are downloading music illegally because the vast majority of music YOU release is crap. People won’t buy shit. Music is supposed to be a creative art, all we are hearing is photocopies of music previously released.
For fucks sake. We are in 2011. Where is music made by aliens in tinfoil suits? Where is the mind blowing, anthemic cosmic electro space rock I ask? The human race isn’t trying hard enough. We are a disgrace.
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